Imperfection is Everyone (But never an excuse)

I'm being constantly reminded of the frailty and imperfection of the human mold. I can forever "strive" to be a "good" person, and yet I will never achieve "goodness". I will never be "Christlike". My revelation, however, has been that, though I will never achieve perfection, I must still give my all in and to those things and people I care about most, and I must always "strive" to be like Him. This battle will never be won. This battle will be ongoing. This battle will be all consuming. But I must persevere.

I want to share with you guys the lyrics to an unreleased Dewinter song in which I feel addresses this subject somewhat. I do know that when I wrote them, I was feeling inadequate and questioning a lot of things about what I believed. There is a freedom in questioning. The important thing to remember is to be extremely guarded while you are doing so. . I wish we could have had the chance to play it live but I'll settle for the release of the lyrics in this blog.

Dewinter - The Same Conditions

Can we truly know
Where do we all go?
And is our self control
out of our control?

The questions burning deep inside our souls
Are the same conditions of the human mold.

I want to know precisely what occurred.
Are love and fate and God all different words?
I want to know the answers arn't all blurred.
I want to speak the truth and to be heard.

The questions burning deep within our souls
Are the same conditions of the human mold.
All the pieces of the lives you used to know
Are the symptoms of a search for something more.

I want to know the secrets of our past.
I want to make new friendships that will last.
I want to work to heal this broken world.
I want to cross the bridge from man to love.

The questions burning deep within our souls
Are the same conditions of the human mold.
All the pieces of the lives you used to know
Are the symptoms of a search for something more.

My revelation of said imperfection and the "human condition" has been a source of I guess you could say understanding. In being able to better understand the reality of our imperfection I have been better able to sympathize with and forgive others, even those who have truly hurt and wronged me. My greatest, I guess you could say, tool in this type of thinking is to do everything I can to view others through "His" eyes rather than my own. This is an extremely difficult task BECAUSE of our imperfections. It is human nature to hold grudges, to lash out, to be cruel, to be unforgiving, and to avoid resolution. These are imperfections as well. With that stated revelation I am able to sympathize not only with those who have done harm but also those who have been wronged and feel too wounded to offer up forgiveness just yet.

Our imperfections are, however, NOT an excuse to our "less than perfect" behavior if that makes any sense at all. There are too many people who live in a state of mind that, simply stated, is, "Oh, well because I'm imperfect I don't have to or need to strive to do the things I know are right. I don't have to strive for perfection because I know I will never be perfect.". This type of thinking in nothing more than an age old human excuse placed in our minds by the enemy.

Though we may never be perfect, it is important to strive for perfection. It is important to view others in a loving manner rather than in a "human" manner.

Though imperfection is a real revelation, it is NEVER an excuse and should NEVER be a comfort designed to excuse us from guilt or consequence. It is simply a revelation that can be given that can aid us in making better decisions in regards to our human relationships. Make no mistake my friends, forgiveness and love are things of God. In our quest and struggle to be the best kind of people, we must realize these truths an act upon our beliefs. These are the things I believe.

I want to strive to show love to all. I hope that when I'm not around anymore that it can be said about me that I was steadfast and that I never ceased to show or give love.

On the topic of love. huh I came across a wonderful piece of poetry this morning in a book I've been reading. I would like to share it with you all.

i have found what you are like
the rain,

(Who feathers frightened fields
with the superior dust-of-sleep. wields

easily the pale club of the wind
and swirled justly souls of flower strike

the air in utterable coolness

deeds of green thrilling light
with thinned

newfragile yellows

lurch and.press

-in the woods
which
stutter
and

sing

And the coolness of your smile is
stirringofbirds between my arms;but
i should rather than anything
have(almost when hugeness will shut
quietly)almost,
your kiss

- E.E. Cummings

143

Psalm 39

Psalm 39

1 I said, “I will watch my ways
and keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
as long as the wicked are in my presence.”

2 But when I was silent and still,
not even saying anything good,
my anguish increased.

3 My heart grew hot within me,
and as I meditated, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:

4 “Show me, O LORD, my life’s end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man’s life is but a breath.       Selah

6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

7 “But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

8 Save me from all my transgressions;
do not make me the scorn of fools.

9 I was silent; I would not open my mouth,
for you are the one who has done this.

10 Remove your scourge from me;
I am overcome by the blow of your hand.

11 You rebuke and discipline men for their sin;
you consume their wealth like a moth—
each man is but a breath.       Selah

12 “Hear my prayer, O LORD,
listen to my cry for help;
be not deaf to my weeping.
For I dwell with you as an alien,
a stranger, as all my fathers were.

13 Look away from me, that I may rejoice again
before I depart and am no more.”

I am immortal. I am everlasting. I am eternal

I am immortal. I am everlasting. I am eternal.

When the cruel damnation of a barbarous existence beats with iron fists upon my door, I AM UNWAVERING.

When the knavish fingers of temptation's imploring hand reach out toward my reestablished calm, I AM FIRM.

When the rigors and asperities of a squandered domain bid me doth arrive, I AM RESOLUTE.

When the drunken cries of an addlebrained generation resound with charm and temporary resplendency, I AM UNDAUNTED.

Of cretins and fools I am a foreigner.

Of villains and dastards I am an alien.

Of liars and thieves I am an outlander.

Of scoundrels and perverts I am a stranger.

When the mighty reach of redeeming love tenderly raps upon my door, I AM ADMISSIVE.

When the benevolent hymns of a forgiven guild echo throughout all creation, I AM RECEPTIVE.

When amorous interest creeps timidly, tenderly into my sight and within my reach, I AM CAUTIOUS.

When true and unshakable love glides in implicit beauty down a road less traveled, I'LL BE READY.

Of decivers and scoundrels I am a foreigner.

Of jesters and jackals I am an alien.

Of deviants and tricksters I am an outlander.

Of cheaters and prevaricators I am a stranger.

I am immortal. I am everlasting. I am eternal.

In these, I am forever.

-Dragan Alexander

And Now Some Good VIDEO Tunes!

The Morning Benders - Boarded Doors

Sufjan Stevens -

For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti

She & Him - In the Sun

The Snake The Cross The Crown - On a Carousel of Sound

(head to about 1:43 for the song)

Alexi Murdoch - Orange Sky Live

A Great Analogy and "Lights and Sounds"

This may very well be a very poorly written blog. I just woke up and haven't had coffee in a few days so please bear with me.

I grew up in church. I grew up singing hymns each sunday morning. I have to be honest, I really hated hymns. In fact, I still detest singing worship songs in a monotone droll simply because everyone else around me is doing so. I have a video that best describes my feelings toward this.

Tangent - Worship should be joyous or intimate; meaningful and purposeful. Wouldn't you agree?

Anyway….I detested church hymns. I detested songs like "The Old Rugged Cross" and "Stand up for Jesus". In fact, I still really don't like most of them due to their evident lack of cacoethes whilst being sung. But to say today that I don't like hymns would be a statement infinitesimal in passionate comparison to my making the same statement a year ago. I now attribute my then disposition towards hymns to 1. The said lack of passion behind their being sung and 2. My never grasping the full message conveyed in the lyrics.

That being said…..I've been visiting a new church on Tuesday's for the past couple weeks.

http://twitter.com/theporch

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2239895265&ref=mf

http://www.theporchdallas.com/

I must say, I haven't felt so impacted by any one church in a very long time. Each message that I've heard has really hit home with respect to my own life and situations. This week however, I was pretty blown away by the truth of the message so……. I feel that I must blog about it.

The last few messages have revolved around a study about the Abundant Life that only Christ has to offer. It's been really, I guess you could say, eye/ear opening hearing a message that I've often heard but in a new and more relative fashion which caters to my own age group and current situation. This week JP talked about sources of temptation - that is distractions from the abundant life we have been given. It seems so often that we trade in a life of complete abundance in Him for the temporary pleasures of this world. JP specifically related the message to the city of Dallas. Dallas is a big city filled with many more temptations than that of a small town. Big cities are simply stated, the Devil's playground. Dallas is a hard city to live in and not be negatively impacted by the "lures" of the world. These revelations, though I really already knew them, really broke me. I can look back on my life a few years ago and see the evident differences in my spiritual walk, personal life, and relationships. I attribute the "goodness" of those years to the fact that I was continually striving, while making mistakes, towards the abundant life that I KNEW He had to offer.

I KNOW now that I steadily allowed the city and a lack of spiritual involvement to draw me further away from the abundant life rather than continuing to seek after it. I KNOW now because I've been forced to see. I KNOW now because I've been forced to really reflect. I've felt so ashamed lately about the way I've allowed my life to unfold these last few years. I will say that I have grown substantially in my understanding and interpretation of those things spiritual. I attribute this learning to my being forced to delve deeper into the meaning of scripture by my school and my absence from a very dogmatic area. It detest dogma. I believe Paul did as well.

Anyway, JP drew a particular analogy this past Tuesday that I wanted to share. Let's see if I can get it right.

A pastor was walking down the street and noticed a young boy carrying a birdcage. The boy casually skipped along swinging the cage from side to side with a rather devious smile apparent. Inside the cage were three small birds, frightened and shaking.

The concerned pastor approached the young boy and questioned, "Son, what are you going to do with those birds?"

With a sinister grin the boy replied, "I'm gonna have so much fun with these birds. First I'm gonna pluck out all their feathers. Then I'm gonna tie them together and watch them try to fly away. Then I'm gonna make them fight. It's gonna be so much fun."

The pastor questioned, "Well, then what are you going to do with them?"

The boy replied. "Well, I've got a cat. I'm gonna feed them to my cat. It's going to be soooo much fun."

The pastor looked at the boy and then to the cage and pulled out his wallet. He said, "How much?"

"How much for what?", replied the boy.

"How much for those birds?"

The boy, confused and taken aback, replied, "Sir, why would you ever want these birds. Look. They're just stupid field birds. There's a whole field of them right around the corner. All you need to catch them is a net. You could head on over there right now and get as many as you want."

The pastor replied, "No. How much for THOSE birds?"

The boy still very much so confused replied, "Ten dollars?"

The pastor: "Done" and he handed the boy the money and set out to release the birds.

In the same way…..

Unbeknownst to us, Satan has many of us locked away in a cage. He meets Jesus on the road. Jesus asks Satan, "What are you going to do with those Dallas 20-somethings?"

Satan replied, "Oh, it's going to be so much fun. I'm going to get them drunk. I'm going to make them sleep with each other. I'm doing to get some of them pregnant. I'm going to give some of them diseases. I'm going to make them fight. I'm going to make them do things they regret. I'm going to tear their lives apart. I'm going to make them think that there is no point of return"

Jesus: "Well, then what are you going to do with them?"

Satan: "I'm gonna throw them away. I'm gonna empty my cage and get some new ones after these have been all used up."

Jesus says, "How much for those?"

Satan taken aback and confused says. "Why would you ever want these? There's a whole city filled with kids and young adults for you to pick from. These don't even love you. Just look at how they live their lives. They constantly party and drink and do drugs and lie. They don't go to church. They take your name in vain. They don't care about you."

Jesus says, "No. How much for THOSE?"

Satan says, "Your pain. Your tears. Your blood and Your LIFE"

Jesus: "Done."

I've got to tell you, that analogy really hit me hard. Even now as I'm typing it, I'm feeling the impact that it still has on my own life.

Back to hymns.

Immediately after JP got done speaking, the band began to play "Jesus Paid It All" - such an old hymn that I never really took the time to fully comprehend it's meaning. I don't feel like there's much of anything I can say that could ever fully convey the true meaning of the analogy I just gave or the meaning behind this song, so I'd just like to post a video with the lyrics and hope you guys are impacted by it's message in the same way that I have been - still am being. Please take some time from your busy day to really watch and comprehend the great and true meaning behind these lyrics and this song. Turn it up and free yourself from any distractions. Put down your cell phones. Turn off the television. Only then, will you be able to feel the full impact of this song and this message.

Jesus Paid It All

Sorry I got so "spiritual" there. It's just something that's really been on my heart for the past few days. I felt I needed to share it with you guys. I hope that you can too be impacted by the power of words and song in the same way that I have been.

On a separate note:

I finished recording a new song a few days ago. If you didn't know, my band, Dewinter, recently broke up and soooo I've been seeking new ways of writing and expressing myself through song. Hopefully I've have a new project up and running soon. This is the first of many songs I'll be releasing. I hope you guys like it. Don't judge too harshly because it's in no way finished, but I wanted to go ahead and give everyone a sneak peak into my new direction. Enjoy.

Dragan Alexander - Lights and Sounds

Lights and Sounds

by: Dragan Alexander (aka. Bo Michael King)

Once we were young and green

filled with fire and dreams

and heaven's rays shined down

on our home town.

We chased the lights and sounds

and tossed aside our crowns.

We traded gold for rust

and love for lust.

I don't want to be a martyr.

I don't claim to be a saint.

I'm not fit to be a soldier

or a well respected name.

I don't want to be a preacher.

I don't want to be a guide.

I'm not fit to be a teacher

though I've tried.

We tried to live and hide

our crooked schemes and lies

but heaven's rays grew dim

with each new sin.

We held our heads so high

so we could see July.

We played the church and priest.

We couldn't reach.

I don't want to be a martyr.

I don't claim to be a saint.

I'm not fit to be a soldier

or a well respected name.

I don't want to be a preacher.

I don't want to be a guide.

I'm not fit to be a teacher

though I've tried.