It would be comical, the way we choose to behave, if only it weren't so distressfully tragic. It seems (to me) that human nature in itself has become unrecognizably altered as well as substantially wrought with role reversal in recent years. Is it purely human nature? Is it commonplace to exist as a fickle minded individual in an erratic world where the vast majority of well-wishers and hold-steadies now seek after a life of temporary resplendency? I, for one, am utterly appalled and, for lack of better words, mournful of the situation as of late.
I am a seeker.
I have said before that I consider myself a romantic. I believe myself to be emotionally mature in such a way that I can recognize value when I am presented with it. Though my notable exterior and jokingly, proverbial demeanor suggest an intrinsic soul of well being and collective felicity, I am continually seeking after that in which I can grasp firmly and hold tight to. But, to make this statement in today's society of fearful adolescent hearts and minds seems almost, and most likely, a mistake on my part as the aforementioned seeker, for too many are frightened by the forward and of those who speak of such things as love, truth, and real desire in earnest conversation.
The music and films of our time, which I believe define our generation to some extent, suggest that we are all "looking for love"; that we are ALL in search of something "real". I hear these words sung. I see these scenes portrayed. I read our generation's worded responses and attempt to extract some truth from these claims. However, I have come to find that words, a medium of great value that I hold most true and meaningful, have become empty. Do we say what we mean and mean what we say? If my name is all that I have, should I not guard my speech and further expression?
I'm taken back and by surprise by the purposelessness behind our words. Don't say that you are longing and looking and striving toward meaning and significance when you deny their very presence when you are presented with value: love, friendship, well being, concern, and other matters of the "heart". Don't lie to the world with your false limericks of desire and heartfelt woe and anguish when you are too scared or adolescent in such matters to recognize and be receptive to the very things you lead others to believe are of importance in your own life.
I write earnestly as an advocate for truth, love, and for the very risk of making yourself vulnerable to someone other than yourself. I write as a beggar rather than a preacher. I plead for a change in the hearts and minds of the false lovers, the false romantics, and the false writers. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Be honest. Be veracious. Be of substance. Guard your words, because our words, my friends, are the very extensions of our names. One's name was once of great importance. Don't sully your name with shallow untruthful words that hold little to no meaning to you. Speak the truth, and, mark my own words, you will be the better for it. If you aren't ready for such statements of love, truth, and desire, which are (in this opinion) the greatest and most substantial of emotions and life fuel in this fickle word, then don't speak of them. Live in your adolescence a while longer, of which there is no shame in, for our years of emotional childhood were a learning experience as well as a glorious lack of responsibility. Don't speak of such things of value until you are assuredly mature in your own hearts and minds in such a way that you can and will willfully and enthusiastically welcome said value into your life when you are presented with it.
I am a seeker. I will seek after these things of value. I hope to find said value sooner rather than later for my impatience is my greatest weakness. I will say-write-use my words (an extension of my name) that I am ready for the day I am presented with value. I will welcome love, truth, and real desire with a guarded yet enthusiastic heart. I seek because, honestly, I'm tired of waiting. I am impatient. But I believe my intentions to be honorable.
Speak the words you hold true. Write the words you hold sincere.
This life regarding the search for true love and real desire is an uphill battle. Let's hope for all our sakes that road levels out a bit sooner rather than later.
And now the song that partially inspired my own words.
The New Frontiers - Strangers
Lets be strangers tonight,
Lets talk in whispers and in sighs,
We are calmly growing cold and tired,
Of all the promises and lies.
With every game we play,
With every choice we make,
I'll be holding my breath that you would stay.
If I could find out where to start,
Find a way into your heart,
Could I force you to believe in me?
Growing quietly apart.
With every game we play,
With every choice we make,
I'll be holding my breath that you would stay.
Cause I'm finding it hard these days,
To get out of the bed we've made,
And we can't afford to stay the same.
This time we're gonna move slowly,
Cause this love is taking its toll,
This time I'm gonna move slowly,
Cause this love is taking its toll,
This time we're gonna move slowly,
Cause this love is taking its toll,
This time I'm gonna move slowly,
Cause this love is taking its toll.
With every game we play,
With every choice we make,
I'll be holding my breath that you would stay.
Cause I'm finding it hard these days,
To get out of the bed we've made,
But we can't afford to stay the same.
This time we're gonna move slowly,
Cause this love is taking its toll,
This time I'm gonna move slowly,
Gonna move slowly
